Singleness and Sin

Apparently I've been holding a lot in since before I got married, as evidenced by 3 blog posts in 24 hours! hehe

Hubby is out of town this week. One of the requirements of being allowed to work remote was that he spend one week out of every five or six back at headquarters. So I am spending our one-month anniversary as a "single gal" again. I dropped him at the airport early Monday and will pick him up late Friday.

I'm finding it an odd dichotomy of emotions, having him gone. I miss him dreadfully; one of my favorite parts of being married is going to sleep and waking up with him beside me. I'm a little lonely without him, and I just don't like that he is gone. Yet at the same time, despite missing him, I am oddly comfortable. The last three and a half years of my life were spent alone; the last year and a half added in the long distance relationship, which still meant a lot of "alone time". So this is very familiar territory. I am back in my routine this week, for better or for worse. I don't really like it, but at least I know how to handle it. My to-do list is quite long as I am hoping to get some things done while he is out so that I don't take time away from hanging out (this is another blog topic I'll address later). It's "life as usual" again, and on some level I feel like the last 4 weeks have been a dream.

It's funny... I think a lot of us view sin the same way. We're very aware of it, we usually don't like it, but at least we're comfortable in it. The outcome is predictable and there are very few unknowns involved in sin. Walking in the Spirit, however... this can pull you right out of your comfort zone into some pretty crazy stuff. Marriage is equally as challenging, because I am no longer looking after only myself. Being married is supposed to be a living example of Christ and His church, right? So, I can choose to stay comfortable in my sin -- or in my "singleness", as my word-picture is playing out -- or, I can embrace the newness of life in Christ -- and subsequently a new phase of life in serving and loving Hubby. These two examples are playing out in my life parallel-like (to all you grammar nazis, I just couldn't come up with a better way to say that! hehe). This is definitely not to imply that being single is a sin; it just fit right into the lesson God is teaching me at the moment.

My writing skilz are not at their peak this morning... but hopefully I got my point across. I haven't mastered this lesson yet. There are days when I just want to be single and selfish (in respect to my time and schedule), or, when I just want to be sinful against my Lord and Hubby. But God is working on my heart and making me into His follower, and into the wife He created me to be. It's never comfortable. Who really wants to make sacrifices day in and day out for spouse and Lord? Generally speaking, I don't. But God is faithful in changing my desires to be in line with His, and someday I'll want to give it all for His glory.